oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
