I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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