so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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