Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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