nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
