Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
