you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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