we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
