Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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