i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
