that's an acceptable place to lick
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
