google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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