My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
