I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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