i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
