Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
