i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
