are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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