Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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