maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
