Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
