apparently the secret to your success is patron
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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