She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
