I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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