Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You pole danced in your parka.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
