I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
