I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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