my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
barbara walters just said penis...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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