I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
