we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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