I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize