He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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