dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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