So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
