Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
