Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
