i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
