Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
