I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
