i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
