Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
