I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
