I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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