Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
