i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
