you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
