I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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