he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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