I just made out with a guy for $7.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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