I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Your cock deserves a montage
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
