i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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