The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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